I don't like writing essays.

A person's perspective changes when they are holding a camera. The mind's method of evaluating the environment around them becomes more intricate and complex. Usually, under normal circumstances, thoughts about a person's surroundings will revolve around their path towards the destination they are trying to reach, and possible threats to their safety. As we're driving, we look for signs and landmarks, the relative positions of the cars around us, the weather conditions, and other possible hazards. But a photographer is different. In addition to normal cognitive thought processes, they evaluate every speck of color, every line, shape, form, and the way that light illuminates them, creating highlights and shadows. Relationships between objects and then the relationship they have with the rest of the environment are evaluated. And after the photographer quickly and meticulously scrutinizes everything from where they are, they simulate in their mind what the entire scene would look like from another position--where all the relative angles and apparent sizes of everything are different. When the scene has been analyzed from every possible angle, everything is reconsidered and a general idea of lighting changes and their effects on the scene are formed, as the mind simulates movement of the sun and time of day. This is how people with cameras think and see, because they are always looking for something of interest to capture. There was one instance while I had my camera in which I saw something of great interest.

I was walking out of the ART building around midday, and saw an intriguing design of lights that shone through the vestibule from the sunlight outside. I went through the inner door to stand within the vestibule, which was composed of glass panels on opposing sides with glass doors, and brick walls on the other two sides. The metallic frames that encased the glass panels were forming shadows on the floor tiles, with the areas between the shadows brightly illuminated by the sun. And looking into the glass towards the interior of the building, the reflection of the rest of the vestibule and the world outside could be seen meshed translucently in front of the image of the inner building. There were reflections within the reflections, and highlights on top of highlights. Merging the image within the reflection and the image through the reflection created a scene that was altogether more fascinating than either image would be separately.

I later realized that the situation I was physically in, was a visual metaphor for life. I now take the vestibule between the walls of glass to represent the present, where we all stand. Looking towards the future, or the outside, inevitably we must consider reflections or experiences of the past behind us. The past and future are intrinsically linked, and we are always standing in the nexus. The concept that was most significant in this realization, was that the reflection was entirely different from the image beyond the glass. In other words, though the past may significantly affect our thoughts of the future at present, we can look through the past and work to arrive at a future that is different. The work in that situation would be simply opening the door, but initiating change in life would be more difficult. I learned that despite my mistakes and past situation, I could still look towards and strive for any future without restriction.

Acting upon this new mindset, I began to delve into career paths that were completely unrelated to everything I had done before. Finally I arrived upon a path I have decided to pursue--emergency medical care. I'm currently taking a class to become an EMT-B, and intend to enter paramedic school next. Ideally, I will be spending my life saving lives, and working on photography in between. I have prepared for further photographic study by changing the fundamental ways I think and see, which changes everything.


.. probably too long. I hope there's not a short word limit.